he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize