I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
