shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
