The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You've changed since you got that strap on
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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