Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
