I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
