Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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