Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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