Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
