Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
