The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
