some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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