well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Send help, water and tortillas.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
