You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?