is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i black out too much to be "responsible"