yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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