grandma shit on top of the toilet
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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