Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
