so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.