Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
