Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
