why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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