it hurts more in the daytime
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
