Jerry, you need to find god
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
