Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
