I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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