their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
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There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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