Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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