This girl is more easily done than said...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
