I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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