she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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