the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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