i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
