dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
