Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize