What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
