where does the pee come out of this thing
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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