a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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