just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize