"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
