sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you win again, gameday.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
