just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
