The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
