just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
