Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
