yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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