when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize