her vagine was all disorganized.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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