After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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