I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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