You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
