jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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