Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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