Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
