Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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