one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
