thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
