all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
