her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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