Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
