I seem to have left my pride at pride
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
