She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Farmville is her only friend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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