the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
